Asher Witmer

rediscovering Jesus

10 Books That Helped Me Better Understand Marriage what every young couple should read and when

Before I got married, I read as much as I could about marriage and relationships. That’s typical of how we humans do life, isn’t it? Get it all figured out beforehand so nothing surprises us and we can maintain control.

After I got married, however, I discovered some parts of marriage were drastically different than I had imagined as I read books about it. I think it’s awesome to be “ahead of the game” in learning about marriage before we’re faced with the in-moment difficulties of communicating and relating. Yet, I think it’s helpful to take it all in smaller bites. We don’t have to read them all before marriage.

In this post, I’ve made a list of the top ten books I’ve read so far that I believe are must-reads for every young couple. I’ve also listed my suggested time when you should read them. Following my timelines and reading each book in the order I have laid out here in this post will guarantee you a successful and happy marriage for at least forty-two years. (Okay, maybe I’m joking.)

6 Powerful Principles for Understanding the Role of Affection in Courtship from relating with apprehension to romancing without regret

I pulled in the driveway, parked the car, and shut off the engine. What an incredible night! We had eaten Subway (Teresa’s favorite fast-food) down by the river, then walked under the slowly setting sun until it was too dark to go any further. Since we weren’t finished talking, we decided to take a drive out towards Red Canyon Park. The moon was full and bright and I felt elated!

All I could think about was kissing her. She was so beautiful and I was completely enthralled with her.

At one point, I pulled off the side of the road and asked if I could hold her hand. I immediately retracted my request because I realized how it put her in an awkward place. She should not have to be the one protecting our sexual relationship. We had decided that we wouldn’t hold hands, not like that. It’s just that I felt such incredible desire for her I thought maybe we could do it for a little bit.

Why Romance Doesn’t Last rescuing romantic love from trendy Christianity

asher & teresa at usc

“Romance doesn’t work.” At least that’s what I told myself on January 12, 2013. Two months after our wedding.

We have a skewed perception of romance in our modern culture. What we consider romance really doesn’t last. It’s shallow, self-centered and conditional. Yes, even as Christians we say “I do” with very selfish motives.

Do we have to grow old and stale as so many couples do? If we pursue romance for the purpose of feeling affection, then at the point those affections are no longer appropriately met, we will probably withdraw and our romance will die. But there’s another way.

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