Asher Witmer

rediscovering Jesus

My 3rd and 4th most-read posts on the blog this year hear my story and what this generation of anabaptists really want

2016 has been another successful year of blogging. I published over 75 posts that were read more than 185,000 times. Today I’m going to re-share with you the third and fourth most-read posts.

Nothing helps to give perspective to one’s writing than knowing the story behind the author. I find it interesting that the fourth most-read post of 2016 on this blog isn’t even a post, it’s my “about” page where I share my story. If you want to know more about me personally and what motivates my writing, check it out.

Number three was published the end of August and viewed more than 4,500 times in the last four months. There is a lot of uncertainty in Christianity today, especially among the younger generation. Church is frustrating, whether you come from a more traditional background or a progressive one. Either it’s full of ritual and stringent practice or obsessed with growth and modern advances. Many people are walking away and this post tells why.

What Happens in Church When Christians Hide Their Failures fifth most-read post of 2016

don't hide your pain

Our churches have become too perfect for handling messy people of the world.

The worst part of it is that at the core, we have become too perfect for ourselves: we no longer share with others about our struggles because people don’t know what to do with them.

This years’ fifth most-read post was No Broken People Allowed, and I think you’ll understand as you read why this resonated with well over three thousand viewers. Check it out, leave a comment and share it with a friend. Let’s become people who care for each other in our brokenness.

What You Need to Know about Romance before Getting Married sixth most-read post of 2016

couple disconnected

Romance, the way we perceive it at first, like the ecstatic feeling of affection on the first date, or the hot sparks and fireworks that electrify your phalanges at the first kiss—that kind of romance doesn’t work.

Here’s why: Romance then is based on feelings of affection. It’s like being excited for the first time your traveled overseas: the only reason it’s exciting is because it is something new (and because you haven’t experienced many new things, yet).

Those feelings won’t last. They never do.

Does Modesty in Dress Really Matter? seventh most-read post of 2016

clothes on rack

What comes to your mind when you hear that we’re going to have “a discussion on modesty”?

Anymore, discussing modesty is almost like discussing music: we never get anywhere. People have their strong personal opinions and the focus isn’t so much on learning from each other as it is on convincing you that I’m right. But just like music, modesty is actually quite crucial to our lives, though not necessarily for the reason most people think.

In this post I point out three observations of our discussions on modesty and share a post with you that gives perhaps the biggest reason why I believe modesty in dress matters for everyone.

7 Mind-Blowing Statistics About Christian Men And Porn a free infographic


Ever wonder how serious an issue porn addiction really is in the church?

When I was thirteen years old I made one of the worst decisions of my life: I chose to Google pornography to see what it was. I was curious. I had been told vaguely what it meant, but I wondered what it actually looked like. I wish I would have left it unknown, but I didn’t. As a result, I spent the rest of my teen years struggling with porn addiction.

I praise God for giving me victory over porn and lust, but am grieved by how many men struggle just as I did. Porn addiction is a growing phenomenon with the advent of digital media and it doesn’t seem to make a difference regardless of whether or not you’re Christian.

5 Reasons You Need to Understand the Role of Affection in Courtship eighth most-read post of 2016

asher & teresa at usc

As you may have observed, this month I am going through the top 10 most-read posts of the year. Number eight is the lead-in post to the ebook I published earlier this year, Is Touch in Courtship Wrong?

Incidentally, the book is 40% right now. That discount won’t last. In fact, neither will the eBook. At midnight tomorrow night I’m pulling it down, so if you haven’t read the book, read this post: 6 Powerful Principles for Understanding the Role of Affection in Courtship.

And if you’re not sure you even want to read the post, let me give you five quick reasons why you should:

Making Right the Failures of Our Past ninth most-read post of 2016


Each generation has to find their place in history. For one, morality may be the trump struggle they face. For another, it may be poverty.

For us, there’s never been a more Christian time in history. And that’s making us ask questions. How do we know what we have been taught all these years is right? What do we do when it feels there are lots of extra-biblical rules and regulations we have to abide by?

Throughout the month of December 2016, I’m going to share the ten most-read posts of this year. Number nine is one I published in March and shares perhaps the biggest burden on my heart for my generation. I believe the way we make right the failures of our past is moving beyond pointing out the faults and doing something else instead. Here’s to. . .

When I Quit Being Afraid to Be Honest with God I discovered he's okay with my struggles


“Would you ever date someone who is always speaking against someone you really love deeply & blaming them for things that they didn’t do?”

Ugh. So now I was finally hearing the rest of the reason for why she ended it. I followed: “Is that how you felt about my struggles with God and my faith?”

“Yeah, you did that.”

Apparently, I don’t give the impression of a stable, attractive adult when my inner world is in shambles while I struggled with the character, nature, and existence of God. But I didn’t regret being honest. I wouldn’t compromise my honesty or authenticity for anything, even the super-cute Jesus-loving artist who gave the world’s best hugs. This was just my fate.

Why My Heritage Matters to Me tenth most-read post of 2016


On this blog I like to look at issues that people don’t normally feel comfortable talking about publicly–the white elephant issues in the room, so to speak. One of the reasons I like doing this is because if we are to grow and become better than we must make the undiscussable discussable.

Many “undiscussables” are negative: people don’t like having faults pointed out. At the same time, some undiscussables, especially when it comes to a heritage we see issues in, are quite positive: people are uncomfortable recognizing the qualities that, if let go of, could hurt them in the long run.

Throughout the month of December 2016, I’m going to share the ten most-read posts of this year. Number ten actually wasn’t even published in 2016, but remains one of my most-read posts. Here’s to. . .

I can love better when I’m not bottled up. date sexually free: lesson number five


The last couple weeks before Teresa and I got married were excruciating weeks. The level of sexual desire we had for each other was painfully high. I thought about her constantly. Dreamed about her. Wanted to say “I love you” with more than words, more than holding hands or giving a hug.

Yet, nothing within me wanted to compromise the sexual intimacy we were about to know. The desire I felt for my wife-to-be motivated me to prepare for life together instead of seeking for ways it could be fulfilled in the moment. I no longer loved with apprehension, I romanced without regret.

That’s when I concluded that if we’re all bottled with our emotions, not free from lust or emotionally whole, we can’t love people well. Either we forget about purity and holiness and do whatever our flesh wants or we hold ourselves back, trying to keep our sexuality locked up.