Pillar two · Emotional health
Becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy.
Having self-awareness and the personal fortitude to process emotions in a way that fosters inner peace, healthy relating, and personal growth.
This isn’t about feeling positive vibes. It’s not self-help or psychology replacing theology. It’s about wholeness. Jesus didn’t just come to forgive our sins. He came to make us whole, and that includes knowing what to do with our difficult emotions.
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The archive
Everything on emotional health.
Articles 87
- What Shame Hides: Finding Healing in Our Broken StoriesSeptember 2026Shame turns ordinary moments into verdicts on our worth. Why brokenness, not looking whole, is the healthy response, and what it means…
- When the One Who Raises Their Hand Becomes the ProblemSeptember 2026When someone names abuse in the church, why do we turn on them? A word to church leaders on curiosity, trauma-informed care,…
- A Wife Should Never Be Pushed Into SexAugust 2026Pressuring a wife into sex misreads sexual sin and centers self, not love. Real intimacy is bigger than sex, and God woos…
- When the Light Falls on Philip YanceyJanuary 2026A haunting dream, a public confession, and a sober look at emotional health as the light falls on Philip Yancey—and on the…
- 3 Truths Your Children Need to Know Every Day for Strong Mental HealthMarch 2025In this episode, I share three essential truths that children need to hear every day—truths that shape their identity, sense of belonging,…
- What I Learned about Wholeness in a Year of UncertaintyMarch 2025I'd like to share with you about four elements I've learned in this year of uncertainty that are essential for living a…
- Your Community Deserves Men Who Live FreeJuly 2024Men who live free have nothing to hide and can lead their families and community with confidence and integrity.
- Men Who Have Things to Hide Can’t Lead Their Families or Communities WellJuly 2024The problem goes much deeper then the choice to view porn. We're dealing with something that touches the core of men.
- [Free eBook] 6 Avoidable Reasons Accountability Groups Fail Men (and what to do about them)June 2024Let's make accountability groups more effective. This free ebook helps you create a setting where men feel safe to open up and…
- How Eroticism Can Heal Your Soul from Unwanted Sexual ExpressionJanuary 2024Eros is discovered each time your body experiences the dove-tailing of desire and gratitude. It's God's bridge between the beauty of bodily…
- Looking for Help Overcoming Sex Addiction?May 2023I tried, but failed, to put all the puzzle pieces of figuring this sexual thing out on my own. The reality is,…
- Should I Confess My Sexual Sin to My Church?May 2023Sometimes people ask me this question another way: “What sins should I confess to my church?”
- “What Should I Do with the Pain I Feel?”December 2022Not everything is redeemable and that's okay. But if that's true, what are we to do with the pain we feel?
- “Goodbye Mom”: When Death Kisses You on the CheekNovember 2022We expect life to continue as normal. Perhaps this would be a setback—maybe even a major one—but eventually, things will all be…
- Not Everything Is Redeemable, and That’s Okay to SayNovember 2022Why does God allow tragedies to happen? Stop looking for an explanation. Shift your focus to the hope we are given in…
- Raising Kids While Struggling with DepressionJune 2022Here's an intro into my journey with depression, raising kids in the middle of it, and how I cope.
- Ask Me Anything: “How do you balance life well?”June 2021My life gets most out of balance when I forget that time is a commodity, what my purpose is, to schedule the…
- Not Even Extraverts Need People This MuchJune 2021Creating a few ground rules for our social media use can help us live healthier mental lives and ultimately engage others more…
- Where Is God When Life Feels Hopeless?May 2021Why does God allow people to go through intense times of darkness and suffering? What is He doing when he seems absent…
- Keep Your Attention on Jesus Christ As Risen from the DeadApril 2021We don’t have to see the purpose for every season of life in order to know things will be okay; we just…
- How to Find Sexual FreedomFebruary 2021You don’t have to be another statistic, proving everybody struggles with moral failure. You can live sexually free.
- Why Sexual Freedom MattersFebruary 2021You deserve to live in sexual freedom; not bondage. You deserve to experience life and joy, not guilt and shame.
- The Deeply Formed Life: a Patreon ReviewFebruary 2021In this review of Rich Villodas' book, The Deeply Formed Life, I give a rundown and some pros and cons of the…
- 9 Questions Christians Need to Ask When Current Events Make Life Feel CrazyNovember 2020When current events make life feel crazy, pondering these questions helps us find clarity, peace, and understanding for where God is at…
- How to Reclaim Your Sanity After an Insane YearNovember 2020Part of the reason things have felt so crazy this year is that almost every issue has become partisan, and both parties…
- For All Youth of Church SplitsMarch 2020We’re told terrible truths through church splits. We learn that differing beliefs can never coexist, that offenses can never be resolved, and…
- How Jesus Redeems a Life of AbuseFebruary 2020"When I came to the part about father wounds the dam just broke and I cried and cried and was now finally…
- 5 Actions You Can Take Next Time You Feel Tempted with LustFebruary 2020Lust absolutely cripples us as men and women of God. In fact, it in tangles us in a net that prohibits us…
- The Secret to Healthy AccountabilityFebruary 2020There is no formula for sexual wholeness. We are all on a continuum of health or unhealth. At different periods of our…
- Why We Need to Stop Calling It “Moral Failure”January 2020We need to stop calling it “moral failure” because that phrase is a cover, not confession. And it is confession that brings…
- This One Truth Set Me Free for LifeJanuary 2020I had never heard something like this before, and certainly not from God. Sure, I knew in my head I was saved…
- 4 Signs You Might Not Be Sexually Free (and what to do about it)January 2020Did you know a man can avoid pornography all his life and still live in sexual bondage? Here are four signs you…
- FREE VIDEO SERIES: You Can Live Free from LustOctober 2018If you long for true freedom, if you want to be able to look yourself in the mirror and not feel ashamed…
- Pleasure, Sex, and Lust: Why Abstinence Isn’t the Most Complete AnswerOctober 2018What does it mean to lust? When I feel the physical urge to masturbate, is that lust? Is lust a desire? If…
- Is Sexual Arousal Wrong for Singles? A Christian GuideSeptember 2018In this post, we take a Christian look at sexual arousal vs. lust for singles—why arousal isn’t automatically sin, how to respond…
- 5 Types of Masks People Wear without Realizing ItSeptember 2018Just as Adam and Eve, we tend to cover our shame with something we can do instead of through Christ. Following are…
- Why You Need to Install Covenant Eyes (and how to do it in 5 minutes)July 2018If you are viewing porn, and if you’re tired of it and want to be able to look people in the eyes…
- How to Create Accountability That’s Healthy and SuccessfulJuly 2018Does accountability work? Why is it important, if accountability actually is important? What does it look like to have healthy accountability, not…
- 3 Flaws in the Concept of AccountabilityJuly 2018When it comes to moral victory, we commonly talk about accountability. Yet, for many, accountability has become a dirty word. They get…
- Passive or Powerful?June 2018None of us want the bondage of pornography. Yet, unless we have something practical we can do with our sex drive that…
- 3 Lies Men Face That Derail Sexual BreakthroughJune 2018I have learned that even if I am living in greater victory than ever before, Satan will continue throwing accusations at me.…
- The “F” WordJune 2018Forgiveness is almost like a swearword in Christianity. We spit it at people as the solution for any kind of relational problem.…
- What “All Things Work Together for Good” Really MeansJune 2018People often quote Romans 8:28 when tragedy strikes. And while we can look at other parts of the Bible and see that…
- RecklessJune 2018What happened that causes us to wrestle with lust and pornography? Why is it that we experience pain and sometimes hurt others,…
- Your Sexual Desires Aren’t Strong EnoughMay 2018So, when a guy struggles with pornography or masturbation, does he struggle because his sexuality is so strong? Does he desire sex…
- God Isn’t GoodMay 2018As the serpent got Adam and Eve to disobey God by wounding their confidence in His goodness, so he gets us to…
- What We Do With Our ShameMay 2018Everyone, to a certain degree, is looking for a place to belong, a sense of self-worth, and confidence in his ability to…
- Why You Find It Hard to Control Your Sexual DesiresMay 2018For years, I was afraid of beautiful women, of ever being alone with someone I felt attracted to. I feared I would…
- Is Freedom from Porn Possible in a Sexual Age?May 2018My wife was once asked by another young wife, whose husband was looking at porn, if all men struggle with it, if…
- Why You Lie to Your Friends about How You’re Really DoingMay 2018One of the keys to freedom from porn is connecting with others, being ruthlessly honest with them. As long as I am…
- Lust Isn’t Just a Man’s ProblemMay 2018The last few articles I've been releasing mini glimpses into the content of my upcoming book Live Free - making sense of male…
- You Are Not the Only Man Struggling with LustMay 2018I sat in a circle of guys sharing about moral struggles and wondered if I had done and seen things others hadn't.…
- The Day Every Man Wishes He Could UndoApril 2018Every man who has stumbled into pornography wishes he could undo that day. That is, he wishes he could rid himself of…
- Is Masturbation Wrong for Christians?April 2018Masturbation is one of those topics where there isn’t one easy answer for everyone. I want to be careful in writing about…
- Theology, Pornography and the Holy SpiritJanuary 2018Most of the readers on this blog are (or at least come from) "conservative Anabaptist" background. And most of these readers find…
- Grieving Behind the CurtainNovember 2017Today marks five years since Mom was killed in a car accident. I think the most difficult thing about losing someone you…
- When You’ve Messed Up Your Life with PornOctober 2017I was thirteen when I first looked up pornography. There was a three-day period when I didn’t care whether it was right…
- Two Deadly Temptations Young Influencers Fail to SeeAugust 2017If you are an older brother or sister, a husband or wife, a teacher, parent, project manager, writer, speaker, deacon, pastor, coach,…
- When You Say Something You Later RegretAugust 2017Is there a specific age one should be before taking on public ministry? Are there certain credentials he should have before he's…
- 7 Mind-Blowing Statistics About Christian Men And PornDecember 2016Ever wonder how serious an issue porn addiction really is in the church? When I was thirteen years old I made one…
- Why You Don’t Talk about Your Problem with PornAugust 2016A recent study reveals that 54% of born again Christian men confess to viewing porn monthly. More than half. It also showed…
- When Nothing SatisfiesAugust 2016We’re currently in the middle of Presidential election campaigns. The problem is, few people feel that either of the candidates left are…
- What to Do When You Don’t Know What’s Next in LifeJune 2016Three years ago my wife and I were asked to teach school in Thailand. The opportunity excited us. We had met in…
- 20 Things Men Don’t Talk about, but ShouldMay 2016Women like to talk. Men, on the other hand, not so much. I don't know why God created men and women so differently…
- “I asked her out and she said ‘No'”November 2015What’s a guy to do when he asks the girl of his dreams out and she turns him down? Or maybe they…
- Does God Really Work All Things Together for Good?November 2015Three years ago this morning I woke up an excited groom-to-be. Dad and I were going to have breakfast together and have…
- How I Discovered God Uses Imperfect People to Do the ImpossibleOctober 2015Sometimes our flaws and weaknesses stick out so glaringly that we get caught up in how needy we are and fail to…
- Why Marriage Won’t Solve Your Problem with Lust (and what will)September 2015Lust isn’t just a man’s problem. It’s a human problem. Furthermore, lust isn’t the fact that you desire sexual intimacy. That desire…
- God Brings about Our Greatest Change in Life through Difficult TimesJuly 2015Authors Note: This is a guest post by my friend Emily Smucker. Emily loves to learn, but it hasn’t always been that way.…
- Flirting with Lust Has Devastating ConsequencesJuly 2015I learned a lesson on a recent trip I took by myself: actions have consequences. More importantly, sin has consequences. When you…
- Those “Mismatched” Details God Allows into Your Life Have Unique PurposeJune 2015Authors Note: This is a guest post by my sister Kristi. She is a beautiful women of God who has learned how…
- When You’re Terrified of Your StrengthsMay 2015Authors Note: This is a guest post by my friend Matthias Miller. Matthias is a professional coach who is passionate about seeing people…
- Are You Scared to Share Your Dreams?May 2015“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of…
- Success: the right picture of it and how to get thereMay 2015When I was in High School, I thought success meant that you make a plan to get something and get it. You want…
- When Life Doesn’t Go As PlannedMay 2015My week didn’t go as planned. It started with a blown tire Sunday night on our way home from some friend’s house.…
- Resolving Pain is More Important Than You ThinkMay 2015Sometimes it feels that everyone around me is hurting more than I realize. My wife. My siblings. Close friends. Myself. I wonder…
- The Truth About Being an Outstanding PersonMay 2015It was the middle of summer, right after the seventh grade and Mom thought I needed work to do. I did. I…
- How to Effectively Tell Your StoryApril 2015What’s your story? Everyone has a story: how they’ve become who they are today. What’s yours? Jerry grew up on the mission…
- The Power of a Simple StoryApril 2015Authors Note: This year I have invited a few guests to share part of their story for my audience. I will be posting at…
- Everybody’s Got A WoundMarch 2015Telling a story about how my Dad hurt me feels like turning in my best friend for stealing. I care more about…
- You Don’t Have to Hide Your PainMarch 2015If you have ever watched the movie Ragamuffin, you know it is based on the life of singer Rich Mullins. Rich was…
- 4 Ways Facebook Steals Your IdentityJanuary 2015I talk to myself sometimes. I used to work alone labeling books in a warehouse. I’d practice preaching when I knew no…
- The Only Journey Worth LivingJanuary 2015The underlying message I hear when listening to people talk is that they are waiting to arrive somewhere. Honestly, I face that…
- Our Calling Is Born from Our StoryOctober 2014The story that’s being written in our lives, is the platform God will likely use for us to share Him with others. That’s…
- When God Wants to Hug Me, He Sends a RainbowNovember 2013Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of Mom’s accident. Today, I’d like to share an article she wrote several years ago that is…
- When Joy Is Touched with PainOctober 2013I don’t understand why God took Mom four days before my wedding. Now that our son, Kenaz, is born—she misses that as…
- Trust in a God Who Takes Away What I LoveOctober 2013Today is my Dad’s birthday; his first without Mom. One of the things I’ve watched him do a lot this year is…
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Podcast episodes 40
- How Bob Kulp Found Freedom from Pornography After Hiding It for 30 YearsJune 2026
- Parts Work and Porn: A Therapist on Healing the Real WoundJune 2026
- Becoming the Kind of Man Porn Can’t HoldJune 2026
- How to Pursue Emotional Health When Struggling With PornographyMay 2026
- Porn Is Like an Old FriendMay 2026
- Why Talking About Your Feelings Is Hard — and How One Card Game Makes It EasierMay 2026
- What the Crack Epidemic and War on Drugs Did to One of the Most Special Neighborhoods in AmericaMarch 2026
- Bill Johnson Is a People Pleaser. Here’s Why That Should Sober All of Us.March 2026
- Why I’m Rooting My Work in These Three Things: Theology, Emotional Health, and LoveDecember 2025
- From Escape to Connection: What Sexual Healing Looks LikeNovember 2025
- What If the Part of You That Runs to Porn Is Actually Trying to Help?November 2025
- What If Your Porn Struggle Isn’t About Lust?November 2025
- Love Is a Battlefield: How to Fight for Intimacy in Your MarriageJuly 2025
- 3 Lessons about Spiritual Abuse I Learned the Hard WayDecember 2023
- Abuse That Happens in the Name of “Mission Work”March 2023
- Dru Lattin on How Our Faith Changes as Life UnfoldsJanuary 2023
- Worship, Sex, WOWNovember 2022
- Accountability, Internet Filters, and the Fear of GodNovember 2022
- You Can Live without Sex, but Not without IntimacyNovember 2022
- What I Learned about Purpose While Reading a Book in One SittingNovember 2022
- A Cause to Call Our OwnNovember 2022
- In the Middle of Something Bigger Than OurselvesNovember 2022
- More Than ConquerorsNovember 2022
- Passive or Powerful?November 2022
- Clearing the FogNovember 2022
- The “F” WordNovember 2022
- What “All Things Work Together for Good” Really MeansNovember 2022
- RecklessNovember 2022
- Mud Pies in a Slum, or a Holiday at the Beach?November 2022
- Finding Freedom from Unwanted Sexual Behaviors (w/ Arthur Nisly)November 2022
- God Isn’t GoodNovember 2022
- Fig LeavesNovember 2022
- Drinking from a Well That Doesn’t SatisfyNovember 2022
- Like Wild Bulls Caught in NetsNovember 2022
- Why We Lie to Our Friends about How We’re Really DoingNovember 2022
- “Am I the Only One?”November 2022
- The Day Every Man Wishes He Could UndoNovember 2022
- Live Free: a Review of My Own BookNovember 2022
- How the Last Year Has Been for Pastors (w/ Rich Schwartz, Dru Lattin, and Jose Sanchez)January 2021
- Unfeigned Christianity, Episode 002: A Conversation with Trudy Metzger about Sexual AbuseJuly 2019
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